i graduated from seminary
I graduated from seminary & here are some of my thoughts.
1. I graduated in May & it’s the end of June as i’m writing this. For the first two weeks after graduation, I would have stress dreams about school. I would literally have dreams about money not being transferred over correctly (since I paid for classes as I went through- yay, no debt!) or missing assignments and not passing classes. It was like my body was coming down from this insane amount of stress that I had been holding onto. Once it was really hitting me how actually finished I was, I started sleeping… so much. I usually wake up around 6-7am every morning but for a week straight, I was sleeping until like 9/10am. My body was exhausted and it was evident that my mind was, also.
2. I have noticed in myself and with other friends in similar seasons of recent graduation that we often look towards doctoral work to move onto after we finish our Masters program. Or for the undergrads, they are looking to do some kind of Masters program. Maybe it’s a seminary/bible college cultural thing or maybe it’s something else. (Disclaimer: I do think it can be both) But I do think there is some validity that many students think about higher education as a mental & spiritual safety net. They may not have any other plans after their specific degree so they look for another program to do because it’s what they are used to doing, they don’t know what’s after their current program, they just like the safety of knowing the season of life they are in, or they are just downright scared about taking the next step forward. College for many is a time of preparation, especially with Bible schools/seminaries in regards to ministry work after graduation. It’s scary to be done with college because it means that the season you have grown accustomed to is finishing up and you don’t always know what is next.
3. With point number 2, I have been praying about pursuing doctoral work (LOL! I AM A STATISTIC) but I am taking a solid few months away from school to enjoy learning about other topics. I want to take a few months to really settle down and remember why I wanted to pursue higher education in the first place and seek the Lord of why He led me in this direction. I feel the temptation of wanting to jump into another degree because it is easier to tell people that i’m doing that rather than explaining the current season i’m in.
4. Within the last 2 months of school, everyone and their mother asked me what my plans after school were. Everyone I spoke with would ask some variation of that question and wanted to know what my plans were. On one hand, I understand that question is the most logical question to ask. I also understand that question especially because my church is composed of a lot of seminary students and families so lots of people are wanting to know if I am planning on leaving or staying. But being asked that so much with no plans made me feel anxious and embarrassed. I feel like the standard and societal expectation is for graduates to have jobs lined up after graduation. If not a job, then some kind of change or plan. I did not have anything changing nor any vision for change. Which made me feel like I was behind everyone else, a failure, and not actually where I was supposed to be. I worked through that and it actually brought about a lot of good that the Lord & I worked through. Praise God for His kindness.